I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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