Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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