Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
