Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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