hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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