He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
