a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
