you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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