I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
