When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Randomize