those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
