IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Randomize
