More tranny stories later!
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Randomize
