when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
