This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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