I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
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