I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
