Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
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I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
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Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.