hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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