do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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