i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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