I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
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