she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Randomize
