do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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