my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Randomize
