so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
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