so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Randomize
