As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Randomize
