Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Randomize
