sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
