I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Randomize
