So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
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