Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
