she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
