well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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