I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
