You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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