im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
