I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
How does one acquire holy water?
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Randomize
