all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Randomize
