And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Randomize
