I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
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Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
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We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
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