I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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