Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
