i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
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