cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
my sisters under your porch take her home
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
