UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
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