So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
soo... how was my night?
Randomize
