We won't sleep together?
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
I think my vagina is haunted
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.