I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Randomize
