just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
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