just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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