I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
