At least make sure they are 18
Why
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Randomize
