I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Randomize
