last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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