Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
be right there i have to get my cape
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
