South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
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