Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize